Six steps to resolving conflict in marriage:

1. Choose an optimal time and place
a. Pick a quiet place so that you can hear one another.
b. Avoid any other distractions
c. Some prefer to meet at home, if so, choose a room with
no one else in the room.
d. If it is not possible in your home due to listening ears,
take a walk.
e. The time should be when you are well rested.
f. Avoid low blood sugar by being 30 minutes after a meal

2. Define the problem(s)
a. Share your thoughts and feelings
b. Talk about one issue at a time
c. Do not interrupt the one who is sharing
d. Listen to the one sharing rather than preparing what
you plan to say.
e. Attempt to be clear without attacking the other person

3. Clarify Concerns
a. This is the time to ask questions to gain clear
understanding
b. I heard you say thus and so.
c. Did I hear you correctly?

d. Allow one another to talk without interrupting while
one is talking

4. State possible solutions
a. Take turns telling what may be helpful in the situation
b. If you find that you are attempting to negotiate, it might
be helpful to write down 10 possible solutions
c. Compare your lists to see if you have any matching
solutions

5. Propose positive steps and try one
a. If you both one in common on your lists
b. Pick one and try it

6. Be accountable and discuss the outcomes of what you
have attempted
a. Share the pro’s and con’s regarding what you have
tried
b. If you have resolved the problem, you have been
successful
c. If not, repeat all of the previous steps to get
resolution
d. Persistence will pay off
e. If you get stuck, it may be that you are attempting to
get your way, which is usually selfishness.
f. Back up to the beginning for the betterment of the
relationship

About the Author: Roger Thompson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Kentucky. He is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors and American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Roger has a Masters degree in Psychology from Southwestern Oklahoma State University. Roger has skills to work with depression and anxiety and other general mental health problems.

Roger was formally appointed by the Governor of Kentucky to serve on the licensing board of Marriage and Family Therapy for which he served eight years.

Roger enjoys gardening and photography.